excuses - mistakes

i hate it that the drive i had 3 yrs ago seems to be weakening. I surely need to turbo charge.
turns out appointments were made this week. Because i saw myself as inadequate, because i saw myself as not deserving, because i saw myself as not possessing the necessary skill, because i felt i was busy doing something else ! i suddenly see a shadow over my 5 year career goal..it hurts.
imagine, the powers that be have faith in me... have faith that i can do it. but i don't have faith in myself ! i have decided to make a change this very day. i know i reloaded sometime back..i am going to recharge. i am not putting my trust in people as i always have. waiting for anyone to show me the light. i will see the light myself. i will look for the opportunity myself.because no one cares anyway.

i will nolonger view myself as inadequate. i will hold my head up high and aim for greater things. I fear for those who will get in the way ! The inevitable is only being delayed a little. Despite all this, there is hope. i realize i made the right choice to put my tentacles all over.... failure,, i promise you there will not be a next time.